Obsession or pastime: Is facebook the anti-social network?

Social media sites like facebook connect users with old friends, new acquaintances and everyone in between.

However, studies are revealing an inverse link with online connections and deeper, face-to-face relationships.

So the ultimate question: Is facebook really the anti-social network?

“It depends on how facebook is being used,” says Gonzales psychologist Dawn O’Donnell. “It’s like alcohol. People who drink a glass of wine or a beer, it doesn’t interfere with their activities of daily living. And it’s part of their social networking, like when they interact with other people in public.

“Facebook is the same thing. Families or friends who live at a distance, or old acquaintances who are no longer in your work or social circle can be easier kept in touch that way,” O’Donnell says. “Facebook is a good way to socialize by sharing thoughts, pictures and ideas. It can boost self-esteem in making a person feel like they belong to a group.”

According to studies about usage of facebook and other social media, and the good and bad that can transpire depending on the media’s usage, findings say that overindulgence in facebook can lead to cases of extreme introversion, and consequently, a withdrawal from personal interaction. This can lead to social pathologies like anti-social behavior.

In turn, this withdrawal from society can be linked to various forms of addiction.

“When facebook is used to the exclusion of social interaction, where people isolate themselves from others, then it becomes a bad thing. This is comparable to alcohol abuse in that it starts to adversely affect their activities in daily living,” O’Donnell says.

“Facebook is part of the new tech-savvy generation, if you will,” she says. “In the schools, which are larger than they used to be, children feel awkward. Teenagers are trying to find out their identities and where they’re going in life, find it hard to strike up conversations with new people, or in some cases even date. Facebook can be an area where they can actually use some of their social skills, or start to learn some social skills in connecting with people.”

But O’Donnell says it’s the parents’ responsibility to keep an eye on their children’s activities — with social media or otherwise.

“In that area, I certainly recommend parents monitor their children’s facebook pages – who their friends are, what types of information are being exchanged, if there’s any bullying going on,” O’Donnell says.

“But again, it’s a balance. They shouldn’t be on facebook all the time. Too much of anything is a bad thing.”

Of course the question is, how much time is too much time on various forms of media?

“This is a good question for parents to ask,” O’Donnell says. “When I help parents with their parenting skills, I address that those are earned activities. Like with TV, you wouldn’t let your children watch television from the minute the last bell rings at school until the time they go to bed. That should be limited to an hour or so per day, balanced with other activities.

“Facebook should be looked at the same way; it’s an earned activity,” she recommends. “Earned activity means that a child’s responsibility is to go to school, bring their homework home, interact with the family, do their chores and then they ‘earn’ their privileges for the day.”

So how much time should a child spend with parents compared to the time spent utilizing online media?

“That, too, is a balance thing,” O’Donnell says. “If the child is excluding the family and only on a social media site and is not having friends call, come over or hang out, then it’s certainly something the parents need to look into.”

O’Donnell also says that facebook, iphones and all other gadgets and gizmos can be utilized to create a win-win scenario for families to utilize and to learn, both individually and from each other.

“It’s also important for parents to interact with their children on how these tech devices work and how they can be used,” she says. “It provides a good way for them to spend time together, by having the kid show the parent how to work these things. The parent can also benefit by getting a good perspective on how the technology works.”

To be sure, technology is a big part of today’s society. “We have to cope with it, whether we like it or not,” O’Donnell says. “Just like when computers first started coming into the home, we all had to learn. This wasn’t learned in school, so there was a lot of catching up to do. We didn’t want to get lost in the shuffle. So all of the new tech that comes along, we as individuals have to cope with it, learn it and hopefully learn from it.”